Inspiration

I have been searching for inspiration and motivation to get back into writing here in this blog.  I have yet to find it.  I love to write, but sometimes it is hard to come up with a topic.  One that is interesting and positive that does not sound like I'm complaining about this or that, but at the same time does not sound like I'm boasting about how great my life is either.  I value genuineness and always want to be that way with others without worrying about how people will feel.  But words can hurt others.  They can make others feel jealous, angry, or bothered without the intent to do so.  They can leave people feeling left out, unwanted, judged, or unloved.  While I want to be genuine, I also want my words to be encouraging, uplifting, motivating, inspiring, and make people feel good about themselves.  So I'm searching for a way to do what I love (writing) in a way that will honor others best (more).  

In the meantime, I leave you with some poems I wrote 10+ years ago when I still had lots of inspiration to write. :)

I never knew

I shared this poem written for Sean with him on the day we first told each other "I love you"

I never knew what true love was

Or why I had to wait

I couldn't wait for it to start

So I went on many dates

I never knew I could be treated

With so much tenderness

Your touch, your gaze & your embrace

Make all else meaningless

I never thought about a life

Without a love that's true

But I never knew i'd meet someone

As wonderful as you

I was always pretty modest

And quiet as could be

I always wished but doubted

A guy would fall for me

I never understood love that's right

Or what makes love so true

Because I've never had a love so right

As when I am with you

I've been in love before

And cried when it was through

But I never knew what it meant

For that love to be so true




In my life
Of childhood memories I have of the past
I hope they’re never forgotten; forever they’ll last
The first time I flew down a snow covered ski hill
Not able to stop – scary at first, but what a thrill
I sailed upon water and flew over land
Saw beauty so splendid, I’ve seen white and black sand
I picked shells at dawn, I’ve been in oceans and caves
Seen Volcanoes, Earthquakes, and Hawaiian waves
I have learned to dance, and to sing, and to drive
I made friends. I found God. I’ve felt so alive
I played piano, guitar, tennis, and ball
Been to concerts and plays, a ballet and the mall
I’ve been camping and I’ve learned how to swim
And in just a few months I will marry “him”
I’ve been on roller coasters over 10 stories high
I am glad in my life that my mom let me try
Life is too short to give up or give in
Give all you can to this world and you’ll win
I have no regrets if I should die tonight
My life has been full, I hope my future’s as bright 

Softly he whispers
Softly he whispers, in her tender ear
‘I want you to stay here, and always be near’
He has shown no emotion, he has not shed a tear
Until her sweet love, devotion, and care
He looks up with hope as he gets down on one knee
He has enough courage to ask her finally
She has opened his eyes to a new way of life
So today he asks her ‘will you be my wife?’
She looks at him smiling, she’s been waiting for weeks
‘Yes!’ she exclaims as she kisses his cheek
‘I’ll stay with you forever, till my dying day’
He gives her a ring, without a delay
A token of love, a promise to stay
‘I’ll love you forever, through blue skies or gray.
I will never leave you, I’ll stand by your side
I just can not wait to make you my bride’
The rings on her finger, they hold each other tight
They’ll never forget this wonderful night
His tears fall down freely, his joy is made clear
And softly he whispers ‘I love you my dear’




Freedom
Searching for me, do I live?
All alone, by myself, there is nothing left to give
I want to reach to the stars in the heavens above
I want to hold them in my hands and explode full of love
I want to sing in my heart like the birds full of joy
And fly to the sky like an eagle way up high
So light like a feather I would glide down to earth
Feeling the wind in my hair as I soar through the air
So free, falling, with no fear and landing by the sea
Where am I? Looking up at the clouds, white as snow
They are here, they are there, they surround me
The ocean crashes on the shore, how can I go?
I am sinking, feeling heavy, going back to where I started
I want to stay out by the water, in the freedom of the unknown
It’s getting darker, the light is fading, into nothing
Nothing but the silence of my empty heart that’s longing
For the release of my heart singing and dancing
Giving to the world - beautiful like butterflies of many vibrant colors
Thousands, millions, all coming from my soul
But here I am, back beside me, all alone - with nothing but hope




Silence
Written about my mom being up at a friends cottage by herself when we were in between homes many years ago


Tick tock, Drip drop
She sleeps but awakens to the sound of the clock
Going Tick tock, and the drops falling down like a rock
Drip drop, Tick tock
As she looks out the window she feels more awake
Just outside are the trees, and the birds, and the lake
All she can hear is the sound of the clock
And the water dripping down – tick tock, drip drop
In rhythm they beat like the sound of her heart
She is waiting. For movement, for laughter, for something to start
Everything is still but the wind in the trees
She opens the door to feel the gentle breeze
And now she can hear the birds singing sweet melodies
She longs for her family, she wants to be free
Day after day, this is all she can see
As she closes the door, once more all she hears
Is the sound of the clock and drops falling like tears
Tick tock goes the clock, Drip drop like a knock
Tick tock, Drip drop, Tick tock, Drip drop




She waits
Waiting for Sean to come home one late, late evening


She waits
It’s late
Not a sound is heard
She hasn’t heard a word
She waits
At a quarter past eight
He was supposed to be home
Why didn’t he phone?
She waits
He’s late
It’s eleven o’clock
Back and forth she walks
Back and forth she walks
She cries
She thinks he has died
Something must be wrong
For him to be so long
She cries
And tears fill her eyes
She looks out at the sky
She prays
She thinks of all the ways
She would change in future days
If only he would come home
Or pick up the phone
Just pick up the phone
And call
Why doesn’t he call?
It rings. A sound
Is it him? Is he found?
She picks up the phone
Just to hear a dial tone
She frowns
And sits back down
She waits
And waits




Think Back
Think about back when you had your first kiss
Did you miss, was it sweet, was it pure bliss?
Who was your first love, what was their name?
Losing your innocence - you’re no longer the same
Where did you go on your first date?
Did you ever get home really really late?
Have you ever been star struck, a crazy fan
Met someone famous, or been in a rock band?
What is the prettiest thing that you’ve seen?
Where is the best place that you’ve ever been?
Have you ever cried over love that was lost
Or felt like giving up, like it’s not worth the cost?
How have you grown, and what have you learned?
Have you been turned away, have you ever been burned?
Did you play on a team, did you win anything?
Have you danced in the moonlight, have you worn someones ring?
Think back. What do you remember most in your life?
The good times and laughter or hardship and strife?




Dreams
How much have you done in the life that you live
Do you have some regrets? Did you take? Did you give?
Is there something you have always wanted to do
But haven’t just because it was new?
What are your dreams for the days still to come?
They may be thrills or peace in the place you come from
Perhaps you will travel far from your home
To Egypt or Paris, and Sydney and Rome
Or perhaps you’ll have children running around
You’ll raise them the best way that you have found
Follow your dreams – because they can come true
Never give up; believe in them; pray for them too 



The Commencement
Listening to the waves crash along the shore
Feeling warm emotions that make my heart soar
Gazing at the water with him by my side
Wondering if he feels the same way inside

Does he feel shivers running down his spine?
And does he wish that he could stop the movement of time?
I think that we were brought together by God's design
But if he really likes me, then please give me a sign

Longing for his hand to reach out and touch mine
Wishing we could stay together for the rest of time
Knowing that he's just what I've been longing for
Thinking that with him I could spend forever more

Is he the answer to my prayers? I should not speak too fast
The way I feel is so strong though that it just might last
A soft warm kiss upon my cheek ends an enchanting night
And dreams of him will keep me warm until the morning light


I Love You
I love you for the way you care
I love you for your breathless stares
I love you for your warm smile
I love you and you drive me wild

The way you look into my eyes
I know your not like other guys
It's magic when I kiss your lips
And heaven when my heart does flips

I love you for the way you bring
Joy to me and everything
I love you for your hopes and dreams
I love you for all that love means